/Blog-Pictures/Boy-with-blocks.aspx) My 4-year-old son hates to clean up. 'Too tiring' he complains (well then maybe you need to take a nap!) 'Too many things for me to put away' (well you didn't have any trouble taking them out...). He has a wonderful imagination and can entertain himself endlessly, leaving a trail of odds and ends around the house that range from Batman toys and Leggos to my lemon squeezer and salad tongs. Because he can take things out faster than his brother and I can follow him around putting them away, we are REALLY working on helping him learn to pick up after himself. Yes, of course I have resolved in the past that I am not going to follow around after a four-year-old and clean up his mess, but the reality is sometimes you know that a neighbor or a mother-in-law will be stopping by and you just can't help yourself. It's either that or pop a gasket hollering at the four-year-old that he's part of this family and must learn to do his share and clean up after himself!!! Or... we can work on this issue during calmer moments when we don't have guests arriving at the house within five minutes and we can take a more positive tact!
Thus the recent focus on 'catching my four-year-old cleaning up'! So every time I notice that he puts away a toy without being asked... haha, that doesn't happen yet, let me start again. In the beginning, every time he eventually cleaned up a little after I have asked him to and helped put away his things, I would hug him and tell him what a good cleaner-upper he is. This is where we get to the 'fair is not always equal' part, because at this point my 7-year-old son is gagging in the background. 'Are you kidding me Mom??? He cleaned up two things!!!!'. Well yes, but he used to lie on the floor crying or moaning and clean up nothing. So we started making progress, and now I cheer for the four-year-old after I ask him (once or twice or three times) to clean up and he says 'OK Mom'. (I literally told him what to say - I'll ask you to clean up, or brush your teeth, or get dressed, and I want you to say 'OK mom' and then do it).
One evening after telling this little one what a great job he did putting his clothes into the hamper, his older brother asserts 'That's not fair! I just put my clothes away too and you didn't say anything about it. I clean up all the time!!'. Sigh. Yes, you are a wonderful cleaner-upper and I'm so happy about that, thank you! But we know that fair isn't always equal... this is something that he is working on right now. What are YOU working on? (Looking grown-ups in the eye when they speak to you and answering them loud and proud... but that's another whole can of worms). I remind the 7-year-old of how I praised him for hustling out on the soccer field earlier that very afternoon, because that is something relevant to him (and not his brother). He nods in agreement... yeah, OK Mom. Then he gets a hug for understanding, and we turn around to see that little maniac has pulled out all the power rangers and is battling them with various leggo pieces - all over the room! Time for bed, not time to play now let's clean these up!! |